Friday, October 5, 2012
New man, new insecurities.
I can't be with you if you are going to be talking to other girls, or going out and finding girls to bring home. I like you too much, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to be pigeon-holed in the FWB stage. I'm afraid I'm going to like you more and more each day, with no reciprocation. I'm afraid of putting all my eggs in one basket. I've been burned in the past, and it honest to god scares me that I will relive my past. There will be times where all I can think about is you. I just want you next to me. I want to feel your body up against mine. I want you to think about me. Text me. Invite me. Hug me. Cuddle with me. I like you, a lot. And I would be the happiest girl in the world if you would just commit to me. Your "college life" is near it's end and so is mine. I want us to be on the same page when it comes to commitment. Otherwise, I'm going to drive myself nuts with the thought of you and the thought of not having you. It will break my heart. I never realized how seriously I like you until last night. While we were at the bar you were talking to a blonde girl, which I know is your type. I could feel the tears starting to swell in my eyes, until you turned to me and acknowledged me. You left her to talk to me. I put my guard down that night. I went against my beliefs for you, and I didn't regret it. However, I'm afraid of what I do or not do will turn you away. You drive me crazy and It scares me to like you.